if a plant is sad do other plants photosympathize with it?
”i chlorofeel you man”
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
Can we built one, Daddy??
MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING ON THIS SITE.
sooo you both get burned in the end
you did NOT
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY MOTHER IN THAT TONE OF PUN
"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did
i’m just going to reblog this over and over again until i give myself carpal tunnel
Every woman has mastered this. We are actually born with this skill.
You level up when you can do it with long sleeves
I was the only girl on an all-boys varsity soccer team. I had to change on the bus during away games because I didn’t have a locker room at other schools. I was not uncomfortable with that, actually. I did what I had to.
But one day I noticed that like three guys who were seniors were just staring at me as I did this and I must have shot them a dirty look because one of them (who is actually a family friend) was like “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, but we’re still trying to figure out how the hell girls do that” and I just felt bad. They just want to get their girlfriend’s bra off without losing an eye and we can remove the whole thing like fucking wizards
i told my mom about this post and she went ‘wait, you can do it with long sleeves? um, i’ll be right back’
“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”
Reblog every time
Whoever wrote this dialogue is a freakin’ genius
What is this from?
It’s from a movie called Syrup